The Unfinished Grief | Word Meaning
The best word meaning found within the unfinished grief process is much more than just unfinished grief! Grief, in itself, cannot be, nor ever will be, expressed exactly the same by any two people who experience it. Grief is as complex as the individual who is hammered by its onset. By definition, “grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important, particularly to the loss of someone or some living thing that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed (Wikipedia).
As weak as that definition is, it’s about as simplified as we could possibly expect it to be. Describing grief as being sad is an understatement. The experience of those of us who are in grief would more likely describe it as isolated anguish.
Moreover, when describing the effects of grief, it becomes apparent that it is, within its own frequency of life, indeed, “the unfinished grief”. Labeling Grief as devastating would be mild! Grief never fully ends. Whatever the loss, something within us will forever be unfinished. That “something” is grief. Unfinished grief!
Unfinished Grief | The Painting
Grief is a dark and devastating experience for us all. Maybe not on the same level, from one loss compared to another. The painting above is titled “Unfinished Grief.” I could never sense that I had truly finished the painting. Nor could I bring myself to finishing the smallest of detail. The forgotten images I had earlier projected onto the canvas at its inception are forever missing. The observer determines the interpretation.
Just six weeks before I sat at my easel in preparation for this piece, I had lost the most precious person in my life. My wife of just over forty-seven years had crossed over to the other side of the veil. The veil that separates us from our loved ones we have lost here. No words could ever begin to fully describe the pain and agony, the grief I found myself plunged into!
Why The Seemingly Cruel Title?
The work of art itself, is not to try to explain anything about grief. I already realize that there will never be enough years in my life to explain grief. Even what little I know about it today. Or how much I “think” I have experienced it. Or how much of it I am bound to live through. At least until I become someone else’s grief. Yes, there is some measure of cruelty in the title. But that’s what grief is; cruel!
Furthermore, where did the title come from? Heartbreak! Within the grief sharing group I had become a part of, I began a conversation with one particular widow. I began expressing my inability to get off my duff and sit at my easel long enough to finish this particular art piece. I shared how I seemingly had a severe case of “painters block” (to steel a phrase from the writer’s world). This very same amazing lady, like each of us who attend, had become an amazingly important presence within our group.
While I spoke, she looked into my eyes, fixed on my grief, and said, ‘Maybe it’s supposed to be unfinished!’
It hit me like a ton of bricks!
Why is it “Unfinished”?
After all, unfinished grief was the unseen culprit that had blocked me from being able to complete it! Henceforth, grief, by its very nature, is never finished! And so the name. And its significance! The title, in short, describes what it is we who have lost confront every day. If not every moment for the remaining time we spend here on this side of life. An emotional, psychological, spiritual, social, and yes, even physical condition that will be forever more, Unfinished grief!
THIS SAME SWEET WOMAN with whom I engaged in conversation that morning had lost her own spouse on the fourth of July. Still, just a few short months following my own loss. Thus, suddenly she faced not only her own anguish but also her daughter’s grieving process. Indeed, one’s unfinished grief that would compound her own.
The loss of a father at the young and tender age of thirteen is a grief only vaguely understood by those who share that same experience. This young girl wrote a poem of her own, Band-Aid, describing her contention with that unseen, yet at times, paralyzing emotion we’ve all come to know as grief.
Thank You, Alexi, for showing us your heart!
A Poem From The Heart Of Grief
By Permission
By permission, the author of this poem has granted me the opportunity to share with you, the visitor to this post, her own insight into her own world of unfinished grief, Band-Aid by Lexi (Alexis) Orr, age 14https://ambientcanvas.com/index.php/band-aid-the-poem-by-lexi-orr/.
See Also: A Practical Grief Observed
